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I recently found a letter from a friend that was written in 2003, where she asks if I am struggling with the concepts of the three stages of growth spiritually: Novice, Journeyman and Master. I had shared that with her back then since she was struggling within herself about her relationship with God, and her sense of place and work as a practicing Christian.

For the reader, if you check into the Conference website page you will find in the menu, a small note about “From The Heart.” That is where my column is to be found, and the first of those columns rests at the bottom of the page. To read that through (it is long) will give you a sense of what is meant by three stages of spiritual growth.

Her question of me was about whether I had any difficulty grappling with stages two and three - Journeyman and Master. My response was yes, I did struggle thus, and finally came to the conclusion that while our church seldom even thinks in that direction (because it is too hard work in the first place, and too dangerous in the second place institutionally to have confident, empowered mystics parading the corridors and apses), we who have crawled through the blast and wreckage are the very ones NAMED by experience to teach it, wherever we are, and whoever we are.

That means that each of us so NAMED have to put together our own version of the experience and process, sharing it with beginners. As I tried to say in the essay on the Conference website, one cannot hold another's hand walking through minefields; rather, one walks alongside of the other, chatting the while, confident that the process will sensitize and clarify the soul in question until the beginner starts to share his or her heart with whatever findings are to be had.

I think the key step in the process is the Journeyman: the explosions of wonderment; the changes in perception of reality; sudden infusions of inner strength; being stunned by inner peace experiences in one's soul; and the humbling discovery which happens at the first step into the Master's position: the sparkling awareness that one is, after all, a Novice.

My friend noted in her letter that I had been of help to her as she moved past being “just born”, but still finds haziness in the church in general concerning the concept of maturing in one's spirituality. She said that it is more and more difficult to find peers, but that's not the point. I see one's stance as:

As for who has done this for yours truly? Most of those who did it didn't know they were doing it. I think. They were just basically good and well intended folks with nothing like “this” in mind in their all too brief meetings with me. At that time, I assigned much more credit to them than they would ever take, or acknowledge, which gives you something of an impression about how green this particular fruit was in those days.

That stream of contributors to my soul encouraged me to think my way through whatever brought us in contact, trying to sort out whatever it was that touched my soul, and as I eventually found out, moved me.

Some would say that all of the above is at least arrogant, or at best, off the wall, but what I found that made hash of such opinions was that I was almost “forced” to turn my back on political power, whether in the church, or elsewhere. I had never politicked for any post or pulpit in my career because I found out early on that wherever I was assigned to had more authentic work of the spirit to be done than I or anyone else could ever get done. I was fascinated, and remain so by that kind of work.

I have long since concluded that Jesus did the same. He was directly political from His religious stance - the Master, after all, but did not play the political game, nor was He the least interested in becoming a political fixture in the scheme of things. His anger was born of love.

Rather, He was Instructor, hoofing it through the riots and messes of His time. Consider this: Crossan and Reed's book, “Excavating Jesus (p.243) offers a shocking statistic. In the burial cave in Jerusalem where recently was found the ossuary (bone box) of Joseph Caiaphas, who was high priest in the Temple at the time of Jesus, Caiaphas' bones were in that box; in other boxes there were found 63 other individual skeletons.

The demographic description of those 63 is a grim reminder that even the wealthy were not impervious to rampant disease and infant mortality. Here's the age distribution of the people buried in the cave:

40% never made it past their 5 th birthday, and 63 % never reached puberty. This was normal in Jerusalem and throughout the whole Roman Empire of the time. In statistics generally, any number of 20 or more indicates trend.

In other words, it was a savage, savage time. Add to this the Roman Empire crucifying peasants all over the place, all the time, and you begin to get a feel for the stunning contrast Jesus presented as He walked his aura through the blood and tears.

One cannot wear an aura, and not be noticed. And that's really the point I want to make with you: being noticed is not hard to do. It goes on and on with or without your permission. It is a good thing not to notice most of it, because the temptations to the ego would then be overloaded. Like them thar TV preachers.

You have poise, wit, extreme sensitivity, personal integrity, you are brilliant, and you are, in your own quiet way, a showcase of inner spiritual strength. It sticks out all over you. You have learned patience - one of the most difficult achievements for bright people, and you are obviously at peace with yourself. That sticks out all over the place.

Then, since you know you're being noticed - for the right reasons - it is then not your responsibility to fuss about what the impact is, or where it goes, or what it does. You will get some feedback on this, but only some. You don't even know who is being influenced by you most of the time.

Somehow or other, I learned these things, mostly by tripping over fallen bodies, or sticking my foot in my mouth, but slowly, it began to dawn on me that I was some kind of package, a kind of which I had never heard. A spiritual package.

So what have I said here? That you had known more than enough heartbreak to qualify as an Novice; that you continue to demonstrate maturity in your soul; that your love is a palpable and moving experience for people; that you are in turn loved for what you have become by people who are totally serious about their lives; and that the same people, including this aged writer and poet, cherish the love that you offer.